Every angler’s met him, wherever they may be

Fishing on secluded rocks, river, lake or sea

When miles from the nearest town, not a soul about

I almost jumped out of my skin as I heard the familiar shout

Any luck? he called and I slowly turned around

He was standing right behind me alongside his faithful hound

Nothing yet, I tell him, though I’ve heard it’s good right here”

Yes, says he enthusing, I caught a record fish last year!

He switches on the tape machine then all the shit rolls out

How his mate was hear yesterday, caught a fourteen pound sea trout

And just last week his son fished here catching all the day

But you won’t catch a thing, you’re fishing the wrong way!

Your rod’s too small, your reel’s too big, you’re using the wrong bait

Don’t use a running ledger and you are fishing the wrong weight!

Even his dog has had enough of this irritating bore

It lay there in the land of nod on the rocky hard seashore

Only stirring occasionally to scratch an errant flea

Then thank God he must dash, has pie and chips for tea

Oh! Said I, not fish and chips, you seem to catch such lots

No, said he, I don’t eat fish, they brings me out in spots!

I give them to Gladys next door, her old man has just died

Now he was an excellent angler, on and on he lied

Old Charlie would come down here every single day

Once caught thirty bass and a giant thornback ray.

In rain or shine he’d come down here to escape the nagging misses

The only time she’d shut up was when her mouth was stuffed with fishes

He gave me an idea there, if I should catch a mullet

I’d pull this windbags head back and poke down his gullet!

I’m becoming really angry now if I should catch a wrasse

I’ll bend him over front ways and poke up his ass.

I came here to relax and now I’m in a fit

All caused by the passing , of Billy the Bullshit.